Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Hello Whiteness, My Old Friend

Alcohol has it's place, of this there is no doubt.  But of course it can be argued that the perils of drinking far outweigh those fun and light moments when we get to wear the lampshade hat, speak louder and out of line more than we should, and in general do things that we conveniently get to blame on something other than ourselves.  Besides the obviously horrible things associated with drinking too much, there are also the not quite as harmful effects the we can suffer.  Some of those being, drunk dialing, intoxicated texting, and my own recent bout with tipsy self-tanning.  Case in point, see photo below.  Notice the lovely lines of demarcation near the bottom of my foot, once only associated with bad applications of liquid foundation.

I'm not a fan of tanning.  I have avoided getting much sun exposure for about the past 30 years.  When I think of basking in the sun, like I did when I was younger, it makes me cringe.  I see it the same way a chicken probably sees being in a roasting pan set on 350 degrees.  Pure torture.  Why would I do that to myself?  

But every so often I must admit, that a little bit of bronzing on the skin can look quite appealing, giving it that healthy looking glow.  Recently I received a couple sample packets of a self-tanning cloth in my Birchbox shipment.  I put them aside, figuring I would never use them, and would give them to my daughter.  Then I remembered, my daughter likes to wear her skin in a whiter shade of pale.  She goes for the Geisha look.  

Isn't she lovely ~ When she was little I called her "Hatsumomo"
So a couple of nights ago, after partaking in a delicious vodka grapefruit (you must try the Trader Joe's Ruby Red Grapefruit Juice if you haven't), I decided for some reason that it would be the perfect time to try and apply the tanning cloth, I think it was mainly because my newly pink polished toenails were crying out for a little color to complement them.  

The cloth seemed easy enough to apply, just rub along the foot, up the leg, making sure to apply a bit less around the knee and ankle.  There, beautiful.  In the morning I knew I would wake to freshly sun kissed skin and I could slip on my Cinderella summer sandals.  But what I got instead was a solid week of wearing long pants and boots, because frankly, I looked ridiculous.

So another lesson learned.  Or at least I hope it took.  You think I would have learned that one by now, but as I've mentioned before, sometimes it just takes me a little longer.  But what I did learn was this, I am what I am.  Leave well enough alone.  And you know what, there's something to be said for white skin ~ if that's what you come with, wear it, and wear it well, it is just another shade of beautiful!

My feet are looking damn good

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No country for old men (or women)