Skip to main content

You say "winter" like it's a bad thing

The night before the first official day of spring, I went to bed only to lie awake listening to the sound of children’s voices, squealing in that pre-summer delight, cars roaring down the main road and music from the neighbor behind me. I tossed and turned, on my back, on my side, back on my back. I admit, I went to bed rather early for a Friday night, it was 9:30. Still, what are those kids doing outside at this time of night? They weren’t teenagers; they definitely were elementary school age or younger.

It was a warm evening, a beautiful night actually. Way too warm for the 19th of March. I was in San Francisco yesterday and it was 77 degrees. Hot for the city. And I’m already dreading the heat coming in the next 6 months ahead.

This morning I woke early, 3:00 am to be exact. I couldn’t sleep so I got up, made myself some mint tea, checked my email, read a little bit of the news on the web. Did you hear Lindsay Lohan might be banned from India!!!!! OMG! I went back to bed around 5:30 hoping to fall back asleep. It wasn’t long before the birds began chirping wildly. Every spring this happens here. There are a few trees next to my bedroom window which apparently is the hot spring break destination for all the birds in Napa. I love the sound of a few birds, but I am not exaggerating, there are hundreds that gather here. (I could be stretching this, but only slightly). This could almost be another present day Alfred Hitchcock thriller. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dshehPH_1ow  So, just as I was contemplating “how to kill a mockingbird” my thoughts were intruded upon by the dreaded leaf blower.  A few minutes later the lawnmower. It was like sitting in a school auditorium listening to a really bad high school band.  I am going out of my mind! Quiet, please be quiet. My already pounding headache that has been visiting me since Wednesday has now become the bass drum for the band.

As I have gotten older I like the summer season less and less. It hit me this morning that it isn’t so much the temperature of the summer as it is the noise of summer. Maybe if I lived in the country or at least on a large parcel of land I wouldn’t be bothered like this. But this urban manmade noise is irritating beyond belief. I am not the kind of person who wakes up in the morning and turns on the TV or any other noise making device except for my coffee pot, which noise it emits is very short-lived. I like to sit quietly for a good hour or so. That is why I have always made it a point to get up extra early. I cherish those two or three hours when most people are still drooling on their pillow.

Fall and winter as such quiet times. They are more in line with the likes of the hopeless romantic. There is such a peaceful hush to the world. People are inside or at least the outdoor activities are more site specific, like skiing or hiking, in places where that is what all of the people are doing. Not screaming in the backyard as your older brother turns the hose on you. Fall and winter are soft, nurturing, and safe. They feel like cashmere and smell like freshly baked banana bread. I guess I just need comfort right now and I am so not ready for this boisterous springtime energy. Please, I just need a few more weeks that begin with a slight chill in the air, an early morning fog that rolls in, a few more cups of French hot chocolate with vanilla infused whipped creme and time to break in my new black boots.


Popular posts from this blog

To Be Fearless

I’ve always been fearful - afraid of the dark, of showering when no one’s home, of Halloween. I was even afraid to do a cartwheel when I was a young girl - ride on a horse, or roller skate - I never felt safe if my feet weren’t touching the ground. 
When I watch the young skateboarders or extreme sport athletes I envy their bravery - their courage, their willingness to take a chance, to get hurt, to want something so badly that they are willing to endure whatever the consequences. But no, that was never me.
And fear can be a good thing. It is what can keep us safe - it can be a beacon - a light to follow when our intuition tells us something isn’t right. It’s hard to know the difference sometimes between real fear, when your life might be in danger, or imagined fear, the kind that prevents you from trying things, or going for it, just because you think you might get hurt. And that type of hurt is usually just an ego bruise.
I must say I have been brave with my heart, though - to a fa…

The Emotional Side of Aging

Photo by Anika Huizinga on Unsplash
Today I was driving near City College and a few young girls passed me on their morning jog. Not together. They came one after the other. It was one of the rare times that reality sort of grabs my attention, reminds me of yesteryear, and I feel a deep sense of loss as it goes sashaying by. It hit me how these young people have so much opportunity ahead of them, so many choices that they can make, so many different directions they can take. And I felt excited. For them. But it is a melancholy day when you realize that most of your major life decisions have already been made. You have already had your chance to choose a career, the size of your family, the man/woman of your dreams, the place to call home, you’ve rounded third, you know, not much to do now but slide. Now, this is just an observation, and nothing more.
This is not a letter of regret, confessions to my past loves, or anything of the sort. I realize that life is not over and there is still…

Finding our way to Happy

Don’t worry; be happy. Sounds simple, right? But happiness has been eluding mankind since the beginning of time, or at least since the Declaration of Independence proclaimed that we had the right to pursue it! And so, like an old-fashioned Easter egg hunt, we all scurried off to find it. And no matter how many eggs we found, there was always someone who found that extra egg, the golden egg, or the one filled with chocolate or money. And then, suddenly, all of our pretty pastel eggs just seemed to dim in comparison.
It seems that we may have the word happy confused with the word perfect. For many of us, it seems that in order to be happy, things must be in perfect order. We must have the perfect relationship, the perfect house and the perfect career. But this is where the road to happiness can cause our vehicle to break down, when it collides with perfection and expectation, the mortal enemies of happy.
The main principal of the Chinese I-Ching is that everything changes. This is the nat…