Today I should be unpacking in Portland. But I'm not. I'm living now for another month in a home full of boxes, wall art propped up against the wall instead of hanging on it, with a spotless stove and oven that I don't dare use while I sit here and try to decide what to do with myself.
Most everything has been packed and is waiting patiently in the garage for its new home. That includes all my pots and pans. Guess it would make sense to find that box and get a few items out. I should have more options than eating out or micro waving for the next 28 days. Relaxing, or at least sitting back and letting things unfold is proving much more difficult than it sounds. I want to get going on to the next thing, whatever that may be. It is hard not to look at this time period as "a waste of time" even though I know it is a necessary break that I need. I've been told to sit quietly, listen to my breathing, and spend some time being empty. My brother wrote to me "Sometimes the best things find you, as opposed to you finding them", which is beautiful and comforting, and at the same time I want that thing to find me right now!
I have often been accused of not focusing, of having too many things going on or at least too many things in the planning stage that never seem to materialize. In my own defense, I cannot help it. I am a Fire Monkey in Chinese Astrology. The monkey, as clever as he/she can be, also has a bad habit of swinging from one branch to another. He gets bored very quickly and what once seemed like the most magnificent idea in the world loses its grandeur as soon as another magnificent idea appears. I know this is true of me, but I can't slow down my mind. That's the way it works. I have definite interests, from food, design, art, coffee, music, travel, etc. I have wanted to design kimono pillows, European sheets, open a lunch delivery service, open my coffee house, an art house/cafe, market my special chicken recipe, make the best damn babka this side of New York, (and Dad, this is for you, wanted to be a dentist) but I always fall short. I get to a certain point in my creative process and then it falls apart when I can't seem to connect with the right people to keep me motivated or that know the next step in the "get it going" process. So, now I'm blaming more than my monkey personality but also all of my imaginary business friends who dropped the ball.
Being a Feng Shui Practitioner, I guess a good first step for me now would be to work with my own Feng Shui. I need to balance and center myself. This might also prove very challenging, especially this year. 2010 is the year of the metal Tiger. The Tiger is assertive, competitive and sharp. He appears calm and his stalking nature is one that is well planned. He can pounce when least expected. And of all of the animal signs in the zodiac, he is least compatible with the Monkey! He can't stand the "jumpy" energy of the monkey. It is quite distressing for him. What this all boils down to is that the monkey could have a little more difficulty this year getting things done the way he wants them done.
So it is very important for me this year to be the recipient of my own Feng Shui consultation. I need to enhance my career sector, my helpful people sector and my creativity sector. That ought to do it. Now I just need to quiet my mind - breathe, meditate, wait, breathe, meditate, wait, breathe, meditate, wait. . . and keep my eye on the Tiger.
Watch this youtube video: Monkey taunts Tiger