Monday, February 8, 2010

Second Thoughts?

I knew it would happen - the sooner this dream was to become a reality the more I might resist the change. I am going up to Portland in 4 days - to house hunt. I am moving there in twenty days. Maybe this is where some of the fear is coming from. Not knowing where I will be living, will I have enough space, will I be able to fit all of my old life into the new life? I am already missing the bay area - the area that I love so much. Even Napa, though I have grown tired of the wine and tourist industry, I must say, it is still breathtaking when I drive up Silverado Trail and the vines, the hills, the clouds, the sun and the simple beauty of it all, makes me feel so utterly thrilled to be alive. I will miss San Franciso, Marin County, Bake Sale Bettys in Berkeley, the Golden Gate Bridge! Oh I must admit, I feel very scared. I keep reminding myself that this is an adventure, something I would never be able to pull off here in the bay area - I couldn't afford to even try it. And nothing, NOTHING, is forever. I can switch it up if need too. Isn't that what I'm doing right now?

So, this Saturday I will be signing the lease at the cafe. I must find a place to live. I have to find movers (this has got to be the hardest part), I need to pack (ugh) and I need to put this part of my life behind me. Keep focused. Keep optimistic. Don't spend too much time thinking. Spend more time doing.

Today I will pack a few boxes. That's it. Maybe get a few quotes from some moving companies. Keep checking Craigslist for rentals. Relax. Breathe. It is all going to be good. Remind myself, enjoy the process.

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