Open up my head and let me out

Chalk it up to another restless night last night. I had the hardest time sleeping. Actually I fell asleep easily, could barely keep my eyes open, but staying asleep, well that’s a different story.

I had a lot on my mind when I went to bed last night. I was thinking about what I would wear in the morning to my first day at my “two-week” job trial. I mean, I will be working with clothing so I should look like I have some sense of style. This thought in itself took up way more time than any one person should devote to this subject. Especially when there wasn’t that much to think about since my recently expanding waistline and thighs have limited me to wearing only two pair of pants that I own. This shouldn’t be so hard to figure out. Now, which jacket is light weight enough to be considered “spring wear” and long enough to hide my backside? Okay, again, I spent too much time last night thinking about this and now here I go wasting more time writing about it!

I also went to bed a bit sad because the wonderful house I was hoping to get in St. Helena, I didn’t get. I spoke with the owner yesterday and she informed me that her tenant of three years had decided to stay. And of course, the owner prefers that scenario. Well, “good for you,” I said, “Bad for me.” So the house search now sits in the drivers seat of my brain and I am pretty much consumed by that. Tonight I have another place to look at in Napa but it is going to be pretty hard to view these new properties without comparing them to what I almost had. Bummer.

My mind was also full of coffee shops, kiosks and carts. Newspaper stands and muffins. I need to figure out someway to approach the County of Napa, I need to do a whole lot of research, get my facts and figures straight. I am not giving up on this. Maybe I should hire someone to get this information for me. It would probably prove to be much more cost efficient in the long run. Bring in someone who knows about this stuff. Rules and Regulations. I’ve never been too good with them.

So, trying to empty my mind, about 2:00 am, I decide to meditate. Let’s get this “Om” on.

Tossing thoughts out of my head like a child emptying his toy box, I start to feel a sense of quiet, a deep lightheadedness if that makes any sense. I finally fell back asleep and woke up again at around 4:00 with one of my faithful hot flashes. Lovely.

But today is a new day. As I sit here drinking my coffee that I just made in my French Press and added a small amount of vanilla almond milk, I am thinking, life is good. Even if I feel a little tired, my eyes a little puffy, my hair in bad need of a root touch up, I have a lot to be excited about. I will start working today at the consignment store. I committed to work until the end of this month, and if I like it and think I would be good at this, I will lease it from the owner for one year. At the end of the year I can purchase it if I so desire. That’s not too bad. This could be really fun and I know whatever I gain from this (I’ve never worked retail before) will be one more valuable piece of my puzzle.

So today I may not have my coffee shop and espresso to sell, but I am stopping by Starbucks this morning on my way to work, and I will pick up a coffee for the owner and myself. Somehow coffee will always be an important part of my day. No doubt, it’s the best part of waking up. . .