"Reel" Food

I just returned late last night from a four day fishing trip in Alaska.  This is an annual trip that my brother treats our family to, a rugged Deadliest Catch kind of bonding. After 13 years of making this trip, and at the end of each one swearing I will never do it again, I find myself packing up my dramamine, wool beanie and thermal underwear for the next annual adventure.

I’m not sure what it is about this trip.  It’s definitely not the getting up at 4:30 am, being out in a boat on the ocean in windy and rainy conditions, or being so exhausted at the end of the trip that I need a couple more days just to recover.  But when it is over there is a feeling of accomplishment, the slaying of the dragon, and our bond becomes a little tighter with each war (fish) story we share and the many laughs that accompany them.

A surprisingly and wonderful sunny, calm moment ~  

These trips are about much more than fishing. They are what we call primary food.  Primary food is the way we feed our souls, the way we feed our relationships, our careers, our joy, our need for connection.  And speaking of connection, it is so obvious to me when I am on this trip, away from my computer, my cellphone, emails and Facebook, that this is what true connection means.  Face to face, together in the trenches.  Those trenches can be true "down in the dirt" or shopping together in the designer jean aisle at Neiman Marcus.  Doesn’t matter.  The fact is we are together, in the flesh, sharing our time, sharing the experience.

For me, one of the hardest parts of coming back home after those four beautifully challenging days is that I have to turn the computer back on.  Panning through the numerous emails to find that my delete button is showing it's wear and that the only messages that really matter are a mere handful. Looking through all the Facebook posts that have accumulated during my downtime, only to find that, truthfully, I could have lived the rest of my life without knowing the majority of what is going on in the lives of most of these people.

Social media and all the rest is a part of the way we live now and it is not going away. And, I am very aware of the advantages, especially when it comes to business.  But it is extremely important to remember that when it comes to true relationships and friendships, social media should be treated more like a garnish.  The real meal by which we are nourished comes from relationships that are shared and nurtured when we are together. We are filled up when we share real experiences, a good belly laugh, stories, and conversation.

It is important to feed your relationships, your friendships, with true connection. If you can give your time, give it ~ in the form of a visit, an outing or a phone call. And while you might “like” their photos and status updates on Facebook, make sure you are giving them the true attention they deserve.  Hearing someone you care about laugh can go a whole lot further than an emoticon when it comes to lifting our spirit and healing our soul.

Home ~ Carry it in your heart

Summer ~ the season everyone waits for, makes plans for, takes vacations, attends June weddings, and celebrates the red, white and blue, is here. But I've never really liked summer. It ranks #4 on my seasonal scale of 1-4.  It is noisy, too bright, too busy, no cute jackets, no awesome boots ~ I much prefer Fall, when the quiet sets in, the earth begins to rest, and it's okay to go slow, to read a good book, bake an apple pie, indulge in Dungeness Crab and sourdough bread.

November is now my new favorite month.  In the past, October held that title, but with the weather changing and getting warmer (last October we had days that reached 90 degrees in this little seaside town) I have had a change of heart. I am now cozying up to November since that seems to be the month when the cooling truly begins.

I also favor November because it is the time of year that brings the excitement of the holiday season and with it comes renewed faith and dreams of a blessed future. Hope shines as bright as the white little twinkle lights and the storefront decorations that pop up on a daily basis. There is soup on the stove, cookies in the oven and a cup of hot chocolate with whipped cream waiting.  Life feels like you fell into a Norman Rockwell painting, momentarily, even if you've never experienced it, you can imagine yourself right there at the dinner table, with the entire family, all smiles and saying grace.

It's the time of year that makes you want to hunker down, stay in, keep warm in your old flannels and Ugg boots.  Decorate, relax, sink deep into the soul of who you are.  You want to nest in the bones of your own home.  Home ~ that familiar place, with loved one's photos on the mantel, your favorite quilt on the bed, candles burning next to the little chipped porceline creamer you inherited from your grandmother.

I've been homesick. For a place to call my own. Not just a house, but a place, a connection, that when I get there, I know I am exactly where I am meant to be. We need this place to rejuvenate, to gain strength. And if we go without it for too long, we lose our bearings, our equilibrium is off.  Looking at all of my possessions piled on top of one another in a storage unit, crammed together, begging for breathing room, these boxes have become a mystery. They have been packed away for over two years now, and I'm sure that just like a good friend, they can be gone a long time but once you see each other again it's like you never left.

But sometimes the feeling of "home" gets attached to a certain house, a certain place outside of ourselves, certain people.  What happens when the house, the place, the people, for whatever reason, are no longer there?  Is our "home" then completely obliterated?

We have to store all of these things in our hearts and in our heads, and sometimes that's a lot to carry around with us.  Sometimes we just need to unpack.  To put it all back where it belongs.  The smell, the feel, the sound, the heart. The heart of who we are, what we value, what we represent. But until then ~

The feeling of home should always be stored and protected in the heart ~ where like a safe deposit box, we keep these treasured things under lock and key. It is where our true home lives. Like James Taylor sang "Home, build it behind your eyes, carry it in your heart, safe among your own."